I'm Shocked!

Rhetorical questions are often the most difficult to answer, and I have many when attempting to write romance.  I find myself asking the most questions about sex.  You would think that with four children I would not have any more questions to ponder about that subject.

However, while reading I find myself thinking, “Oh. My. Gosh!!!  Did I really just read that?  Wow. That is exciting and naughty!”  Whether you have actually done the action or not, people want to read those scenes. I know I do.

It's entertainment. It's sex. It's everything that you are thinking, but don't dare say. You were not raised that way.  If your Mama heard you talking or writing like that, she would wash out your mouth with soap. Sheesh.

These are the forbidden scenes; our chance to show the world a sexy peak at our characters’ love (sex) life.  Are these necessary to sell the personality and proclivities of the characters or just to sell books?  Either works for me.  I still like to read the scenes.  That’s terrible; I know!  Shame on me!  If anyone found out, I would lose my Southern Bell status.

It seems like the more the creative writer pushes the edges of naughtiness, the happier the reader is to go there.  I am in no way saying it is a bad thing.  Sometimes though, it is a shock factor to see things on a page that you may be well aware are possible in real life.  Is it the shock or the sex that raises the suspense level?  What will they do next?  How in the heck would that work geometrically?  Should I try that or would I throw my back out?

So how do I as the writer depict great sex scenes?  How do I make the reader want more without saying it?  How do I spark the reader's imagination so that they will take their minds to graphic places without step by step instructions?  Is that even possible or do I have to draw the reader a road map, or a body map in this case?

I find myself writing and re-writing these sections. I go from chains and whips to a chaste kiss depending on who I imagine reading the section. When I think of my female friends reading it, I find myself writing as naughty as I dare.  However, when I think of male friends or co-workers reading it, I want to back off to a PG rating. 

When I am working on it I will tell my critique friends that I am trying to get the piece down to an "R" rating when it was at the level of an HBO special. Where is the line between naughty and nasty or nice and naughty?  There has to be a middle ground where I can be comfortable and proud of my work.

How do I censor my dirty mind or do I?  How can I write about sex and look people in the eye? I must keep up my status as a sweet southern lady, right darlin'?