Here Again

"I swear to God, I don't know how we are here!  The programmers said that they could do it, but I did not think that they could revive the land!"

Liz looked at Shadow excited to be alive again. Months ago they ceased to exist. They knew they were gone, but could only mark the passage of time through their Users. Liz's User heard that the game would live again. Disney had released rights to the work. Liz and Shadow were not recreations but revivals of themselves. 

"It's strange."  Shadow agreed. He seemed uninterested. His User had moved on, dismissing Shadow long ago. 

Not Liz though. She stayed alive in the back of her User's mind. Her User refused to play or become intrigued with any other on-line games.  Liz was the best side of her User. Well I say the best. Liz existed and played the User's manic side. High energy, creativity, drive, flirtatiousness, and daring!  She played an awesome pirate. 

Liz found her play ground in this world. She lived in contrast to her User, which caused all sorts of problems in the real world. There were also good advantages from the grey dividing lines. Her User gained both confidence and health. Liz had dreamed and dreamed of  playing again in the world that had been destroyed and here she stood. 

She examined herself and looked to see if the programmers had left out any aspect of her character.  Her favorite clothing items earned through lengthy quests adorned her body. A quick check of her weapons closet showed all of her high level swords and daggers, voodoo dolls and bombs. Her cannons were ready with a full load of lighting and fire shot. Her Frigate waited in the harbor. All of her pieces, her work remained. 

It felt so great to be real again. Liz wanted to board the closet ship and use the cannons. She missed it so much. However, this game cannot be played alone. She needed crews to fight battles and guilds.  We needed to chat and communicate. Remembering this, Liz's happy face fell.  

She knew she would once again be alone, looking for companionship and a captain to man the ship.  During the game it was extremely dangerous for her User to feel alone.  It is dangerous for anyone to feel that way in an RPG. My User can and has analyzed that for weeks.  

Liz looked back at Shadow and smiled. "I am going to play.  This part of my User needs to exist.  Our Users will need to work through this and balance their worlds. For now come with me."c

"Liz. You know I do not want to be here. There are too many bad memories and knowing your User so well, I can't stand to see you this way. I can't stay.  If I stay it will be because you want me to stay and I won't be happy,"

He searched Liz's green eyes begging her to understand. Though Liz felt very seperated from her User, they were ultimately the same person.  "Good-bye Liz. I am going to the world that makes me happy. I live in the 1940's not the mid-1700's."

"I know this is not your place. Our Users' place is by each other's side, but you, Shadow, no longer want a home here. You will always have a home and a crew when you visit. I will do my best to stay out of trouble and remember that my User is ultimatey in charge."

"Good."  Before he vanished, he gave Liz a heartfelt memorable kiss. Then he disappeared. 

Ode to Lost Gamers

He played for hours and hours mastering the game. He wanted a sense of achievement or to find a world of acceptance. Hours became days. Days became months, until all he lived was the game. 

Family would check on him and bring him food, but the real world quickly fell from under him. He could only think of the game.

He never left the game. When he was forced to connect to the real world, he only thought of the next battle, the next level, or another night with his crew. 

His crew were better than outsiders. They knew and enjoyed the game.  They had everything in sync in the game world. 

These were real friends. They wanted to be with him. They wanted to flirt and work as a team. It did not matter how imperfect he was. His character existed as the handsome leader. 

As the lines started to blur between the game and life, he started seeing himself as that character. His self esteem rose. His ego made him feel powerful and confident. That was not a bad thing, but the personality and other rules of the character also moved into reality. 

One day he woke up and those features and mannerisms were a part of him outside of the game.   His life mirrored his avitar. 

Nothing else mattered. His game life was better, more exciting than real life. The struggles and fears of real life could be completely avoided. 

His crew became his crew offline and he could still only think of the game. He had become completely obesessd. Reality crumbled as the game bled from the edges of RPG to life. 

He couldn't see it. He could no longer look at anything with a view from outside of the game. This new reality was better, less stressful, a chance to be the invincible hero in the game. 

He watched oblivious as the spaces between the worlds fell apart. He knew where he was most happy. He knew where he was sexy, popular, and witty. He had the ladies attention and he was exactly where he wanted to be. 

The lines continued to fade until one day his family came to check on him and could not find him.  

Maybe he moved away to make that new start. Everyone wanted to believe that.   In truth, he was in the game. Permanently on quests with his crew. He had purpose and friends. 

His family searched, but he could not be found. Anyone on the game reached him easily on his favorite server. The family never knew where to look. 

He completey lost his hold on reality, but he was happy. 

Then one day, they shut down the game and the servers. Those who still had a connection to reality moved back into their real lives and mourned his loss. 

One Minute to Midnight

I'm writing a story with a similar title and reflecting on this ordinary hour. The clock ticks quickly through the day. We dread 8:00 a.m. and are excited about 5:00 p.m. But it's just time. 

A clock marks the passage and as we pray for the week to move fast, we wish for the weekend to be slow.  It does not work that way, it's just time. 

We are bound by it's laws in this life and midnight advances at the same speed as any other hour. It's just time. 

We grasp for moments taking snapshots in our heads desperate to remember special points in time. It's important because time keeps moving. It's just time .

Midnight has passed once again without any remarkable event, but how many midnights in the past were memorable or tragic for someone.  It's just time. 

We learn to move and dance to it's rhythm because we cannot bend its will to ours. Midnight moves on past us every night. It's just time. 

Hushhhh...

We hide in plain sight and suffer there too.
We know our stereotype, and we know what it takes to cope.

Hushhh...

We know we cannot reveal ourselves or our future is crushed.
Jobs are lost. Families are ashamed.

Hushhhh...

I have heard others refer to silent illnesses,
but the illness screams loud and clear to the bearer, only to be denied a voice.

Hushhhhh...

No one can see. No one can know.
We draw further into ourselves and our own world.

Hushhhh...

Each attempt to reach out becomes another failure.
Protect the lie to survive.

Hushhhh.
Hushhh...
Hushh...